Protocols of Islamic Counseling
By Kamal M. El-Shaarawy

In order for counseling to be fruitful and successful, insha'Allah, the counselor and the counselee must have a mutual understanding as to what counseling is and what it is not. It is also important for the counselee to know what he or she expects to achieve from counseling.

What is counseling ?

It is a confidential relationship and process between counselor and counselee, requiring the highest sense of mutual trust and understanding.

It is an educational process. It is a means to facilitate the decision-making process, to enhance personal development and potential, to encourage self-examination and deepen self-understanding; it is a means of prevention of problems and being proactive, as in premarital counseling.

It is a means of improving the relationships in four areas: relationship with Allah SWT, relationship with self; relationship with other people; relationship with the creation/ environment.

It is an exploration of all the possible sources of conflict and emotional distress, and a means of discovering ways and designing a plan to remove or resolve these issues.

It is an opportunity for the counselee, with the help of the counselor, to identify and become acutely aware of misunderstandings and delusions about the self and others; it is a way of taking an active role to reconstruct a healthy self-perception.

Imam Abu Hamid Al-Ghazali, in his book, "Ihya'a Uloom Al-Deen," wrote, "...Indeed, even the majority of those who are righteous and thinkers ... are deluded by blind perceptions that have been frozen in their souls and firmly established in their hearts; and these have become major barriers between the right perception of reality."

It is an experience through which the counselee can acquire additional tools and skills to successfully meet the challenges and stresses of daily life.

It is the chance for the counselee to identify meaningful goals for himself or herself, and learn to work toward those goals with patience and perseverance.


What is not counseling:

It is not a forum for the counselor to judge or mediate between two or more parties.

It is not for the counselor to take sides.

It is not imposing upon the counselee any belief, perspective, or action.

It is not a place for blaming or finding fault.

It is not for the counselor to do the counselee's work for him or her, such as decision making, or completing exercises in self-reflection or self-examining.


What approach is taken in Islamic counseling?

Islamic counseling is holistic, and it focuses on preventive measures as well as addressing immediate concerns and issues. It focuses on the whole person as an integration of mental, physical, emotional aspects, as well as life style and social environment. Most importantly, it looks upon spiritual development as the corner stone for healing and prevention of future problems. The ultimate purpose is to facilitate the counselee taking full responsibility for his or her own choices and behaviors, and to embrace the exciting opportunity for self-discovery and growth in all areas of being and life. By doing so, a healthy and strong personality, as a believer, is molded and this leads to the overarching goal of worshiping Allah SWT as delineated by Prophet Muhammad, saaw.

As far as psychological approaches, there is no one approach which is suitable for every counseling situation. The most frequently used approaches are solution focused therapy, cognitive therapy, and reality therapy. All of these approaches are entryways into a deeper understanding of self, and a more profound understanding and willingness to implement Islamic principles in everyday life.


How many sessions does a counselee typically need?

There is no standard answer to this question, because each individual brings unique challenges and resources to the counseling experience. Each counselee brings his or her own level of motivation and self-discipline to the process. The need for a session or an ongoing number of sessions is determined by the counselee him/her self. Ultimately, the length of counseling depends on the severity of the problems, as well as the commitment, seriousness, and perseverance of the counselee to work toward articulated goals.